This past weekend, my little girl experienced the third fever of her life. I would grade myself a B- or C+ in terms of how I reacted and performed this time (the last time she developed a fever, I would give my behavior a D). On Saturday night/Sunday morning, the little Apple woke up around midnight, clapping and talking (nonsensical words, of course). While she lay happily looking up at the ceiling and stringing together made-up syllables and sounds, her parents tried miserably (and ultimately, unsuccessfully) to get back to sleep.
I finally picked her up after half an hour and went to the rocking chair to rock and sing her to sleep. I noticed she felt very warm under the armpits and on her forehead, but was too tired to turn on the lights, fish out the thermometer, and take her temperature. Then, she actually slumped against me like a lump of dough while in the rocking chair and let me rock her, another rare and unusual occurrence. I didn’t think anything of it, and anyway, I had her sleeping soundly again after an hour or so, so I just chalked it up to prolonged jet lag.
On Sunday morning, she felt extremely hot to the touch. Her skin appeared flushed, her eyes a bit glassy and glazed over, and the thermometer told us she was 102 degrees. WHOA! This came out of nowhere. The only thing I could think of was that she had been exposed to cold air the day (and the night before) – she routinely kicks off her blankets and resists all attempts to cover her.
The good news was, I didn’t panic. I calmly gave her some Homeopathy (Aconite 30C, whose symptoms are high fever with sudden onset, especially after exposure to cold). I explained to my husband and mother-in-law that fevers were a good thing. That without fevers, we’d never be able to fight off any infections. That there was no reason to worry (yet) and that we just needed to monitor her for the next couple days to see if any other symptoms developed or if the fever went higher.
The bad news was, a couple hours later, I panicked. After her midday nap, her temperature went a little higher and she seemed to become listless and lethargic. I gave her a dose of Belladonna 30C (the other good Homeopathic remedy for babies). I called my sister-in-law, the MD. I gave her another dose of Aconite 30C. I stuck a Calcium Lactate pill up her butt (calcium breaks fevers). I mashed up a Calcium Lactate pill in her water bottle and gave it to her to drink (not of course, the same one that I stuck up her butt). I got into a big fight with my husband that started by him telling me that I should be more careful about taking her outdoors with little to no clothes on, and ended with me calling him an “a–hole.” Then I cried a little bit in secret, defiantly wiping away tears that I really didn’t want to shed.
When I analyzed this little fight later, I realized that I had interpreted his statement to me as finger-pointing and telling me that her fever was my fault. I also realized that I was already feeling inwardly guilty about potentially causing her fever, which caused me to react defensively. And lastly, that both my husband and I love our baby so much that every little fever, illness, or minute that she spends “under the weather” gets magnified 10x in our minds. We start making up doomsday scenarios (in my mind, I’m thinking, “She’s got a hidden internal infection, bladder infection, ear infection, pneumonia, etc.”) and then we become hypersensitive to what each other says. And little comments blow up into big assignments of blame. And insignificant arguments become huge fights. Molehills become mountains.
In the end, her fever broke around 4am this morning, without any trips to the doctor, or any further hurt feelings. Since I threw the kitchen sink at her (in terms of trying every home remedy in my arsenal), I have no idea what it was that ended up working. I resolved to be more patient the next time she develops a fever and to be more methodical about giving remedies. My hubby and I apologized to each other and resolved to be more sensitive to each other’s stress during these times. And once again, I am filled with the knowing that motherhood has got to be one of the most heartbreaking jobs on the planet!! How have women done it for all these millennia without cracking under the strain? How do other mommies out there handle it when their precious little ones get sick? I would dearly love to know. Please do tell.
For me, it is also a process. My sweet Evelyn (15mo) woke up today with a fever. Actually, when she woke up at 4am to nurse I felt it, her head was warmer than normal, but she nursed to sleep and slept until 7am. I was hoping the sleep would allow her body time to break the fever, but not the case. So this morning I took stock – no other symptoms except loose bowel movements – could be teething or a mild stomach bug. I have not given her any medicine, just given her lots of water, and literally prayed for a 3 hour nap to help her recover.
With my first born my reactions ranged from guilty to worried to calling friends to ask when to take him to the ER, and one actual ER trip (fever of 105). Now that I am a more experienced parent, and have read “Kids, Herbs, and Health” cover to cover more than once, I no longer freak out at a fever. I figure that fever is good, fever is the body’s way of getting rid of illness, and I’ll let the fever do the work.
I agree, though, nothing is harder than seeing your baby sick. So helpless! But please don’t feel guilty, cold air does not cause illness. She must have caught a virus somehow, and luckily it passed quickly. You’re not to blame, mama!
Thank you for the encouragement, Jess. You know, I know that cold air doesn’t cause illness and have read lots and lots of studies proving that, but for some reason, in my mind, I always associate exposure to cold air with getting sick. All the times my little girl got sick, it was after a night of being uncovered, and I noticed that whenever I walk around and get cold, I also get sick/a fever. So while I “know” that the cold air has nothing scientifically to do with illness, I associate it with being a precipitating factor, for some reason.
Children get fevers, and as her mother, you’re concerned and prepared. Nice job! I use peppermint essential oil on the bottom of the feet and down the spine for fevers, and I apply every 15 minutes until the fever reduces a bit. I also use Infection Fighter (an echinacea angustifolia root/goldenseal root tincture). Use your intuition, prayer, and experience. Give your child lots of love and patience. There will probably be a next time, so what will you do now to prepare to give yourself a well-deserved ‘A?”
Thank you so much, Cherlynn! Those sound like great remedies. I had never thought to use Peppermint essential oil that way, but now I will try it. You would dilute it first though, right? Or do you just put a drop on your fingers and let that do the work? I like the Infection Fighter…is that something you carry on your site? I will have to come check it out. You are right, there will most definitely be a next time. I need to accept that illnesses and fevers are a part of childhood. I remember how often I used to get sick, and I don’t remember my mother and father melting down in front of me, LOL. And why is it I feel the need to grade myself anyway? How strange is that? Well, to get an A next time, I am just going to focus on being grounded and not panicking. When I panic, I lose all the healing knowledge and intuition that I hold in my heart … because I let my “mind” take over. Thank you for the reminder to stay present and go back to intuition, prayer, and experience.