It occurs to me that all this talking about my new baby needs a bigger context – our baby was a miracle. My husband and I had tried unsuccessfully to get pregnant for almost 5 years before we decided to get help. He got checked out first and of course, he was not the problem. So I took my turn and the fertility specialist told me that my ovaries were “sad-looking” and that I needed intervention like artificial insemination or IVF. Honestly, this was difficult for my husband, as he is a devout Catholic and going through the procedures of either artificial insemination or IVF would involve committing “venal sins.” We talked through his discomfort over and over, and it was not easy, but he finally got on board with going forward down this path.
But first, before we could do either of those procedures (artificial insemination or IVF), I had to get an HSG (let me see if I can spell this correctly, a “hysterosalpingogram”) that shot dye into my uterus and highlighted any potential fibroids or cysts that might block a pregnancy. And before I could do that procedure, I would also have to take several days of antibiotics. For some reason, this was where my holistic inner champion balked and drew the line, and then I became the roadblock.
My husband, bless him over and over, was very supportive and respectful of my decision not to put antibiotics in my body. We decided that before we went down that route, we would give alternative medicine a try. After all, I owned a wellness spa and was constantly putting on classes and inviting local holistic practitioners to come and educate our spa clients on the benefits of natural health…shouldn’t I be prepared to “walk my talk?” Yes, exactly.
In June 2009, I went to see Dr. Connie Hernandez, a Naturopathic Doctor (ND). Dr. Hernandez first ordered me a full blood panel, testing me for 65+ things. She then went over my lab results with me and explained that she was looking for test results within a much narrower, “optimal” range than most MDs look for. One thing that stood out immediately was my “out-of-sight” low Vitamin D levels (normal is 20 to 100, optimal is 60-70, I was at 12). Dr. Connie told me that without proper Vitamin D, I could not hope to get pregnant, let alone carry a pregnancy. Right away she had me start taking 5,000 IUs of Vitamin D. Then, we discussed my sluggish ovaries and how it seemed that I was only ovulating once every other month or every 3-4 months. She gave me some herbs to help me increase the connection between brain and ovaries (Vitex), some herbs to help balance ovaries and hormones (Maca root), and some other supplements to increase progesterone and liver function. I remember going home with a whole slew of pills and truthfully, some doubts in my heart. Not only were these doubts about the ability of all of these natural remedies to get me ready for conception, but also my ability to even take them all.
I saw Dr. Connie the next month, and sure enough, I had not been following her protocol too religiously. She asked me a good question, which was, “Are you sure you want this? Maybe you are holding up a block to getting pregnant energetically, which is why you’re not committed to the regimen we’ve set up. Maybe you need to look at that.” Maybe I did. I went and looked at it and found that I was scared to bring a child into the world when we were so financially insecure. I had an ailing spa business that I had gone out and gotten another job to support. What would a child do to all of this? What kinds of additional pressure would I be taking on?
Cue yet another heart-to-heart with my husband. We arrived at the decision that children, if they chose to come to us, were a blessing from God, and that we could either allow money to stand in the way of that or not. We chose not to let money obstruct our desires to have a family. I got firmly on the protocol (by the way, the Maca root was the most disgusting herb I have ever, ever had – it tasted like ass and I would rather someone poke me in the eye than have to take that again, and yes, these may be famous last words) and went back to see Dr. Connie in August. She customized a flower essence for me that I used with an affirmation…and my affirmation was, “I am open to being a vessel for the highest good of the Universe.” Meaning, if it was for the highest good for the Universe for me to bring in a child, then let my body and spirit be prepared to do it.
There’s more to the story (the spiritual part of it), but that I will tell another time. After all, creation is the meeting of the physical and the non-physical, right? Suffice to say, by late October 2009, I was pregnant! And am now the proud and beaming Mommy of my adorable little Apple, the love of my life.