The name of this blog is “Holistic Mamas.” I belong to the Holistic Moms Network. I know a lot about Aromatherapy and herbs and natural remedies. But if I take a good look at myself in the mirror, I am not particularly holistic. At all. And I am not being hard on myself. No, in fact, I have always been particularly good at letting myself off the hook.
I look around at all the other Moms in the Holistic Moms chapter with me, and in comparison, I am decidedly UN-holistic. Why do I say this? Because many of the other Moms in the chapter do not vaccinate their kids. I do. Many prepare their kids’ meals from scratch on a daily basis. I heat my daughter’s meal…in a microwave. I tell myself that it’s healthy because it’s one of Amy’s Kids’ Meals and it’s gluten-free and made with organic ingredients, but…whom am I kidding? It’s not ideal. Many of the other Moms compost. I don’t. Many can their own peaches and make their own jams. I buy mine from Whole Foods. Many of them make their own kefir! I barely even know what kefir is. Many of them even use natural or herbal hair color. I go to Nikki at Outrage and pay to have my grays covered, with whatever brand she wants to use on my hair (I think it’s Framesi). Many use solely natural remedies for their children, and probably would not consider taking an aspirin for their own aches and pains. I just popped a Motrin for my headache because I don’t have the time to hurt.
And here’s another confession…the other day at work, I was so tired that I took a late afternoon shot of caffeine…in the form of a Diet Coke. A co-worker of mine caught me and said, “It’s strange to see a health nut drinking a Diet Coke.” Strange indeed. Especially because I usually go around preaching to other people about the hazards of drinking Diet Cokes.
Here’s another confession: I’m overweight. I’ve told you how much I weighed, and it hasn’t much changed since I wrote it, despite my best intentions. To look at me, you would never think I was a health nut at all. No more do I wake up and go to hot yoga. Nope, ever since I got this new job, I’ve just been way too stressed and way too tired. Bone-tired. Zombie-tired. Dead-tired.
To tell the complete truth, I’ve only ever physically been to two chapter meetings, because I don’t have the time to go. I don’t know how these other Moms do it. I work full-time in corporate America, which really means 50 to 60 hours a week are devoted to creating “shareholder value.” After I come home at night, and “cook” for my daughter, and bathe her, and dress her for bed, and do flash cards with her, and read to her, and nurse her to sleep, I blearily trudge out to the living room and get back on my email to see what I’ve missed. Sometimes I can’t help comparing myself to the other Moms in the chapter…how wonderful they are, how accomplished, how handy in the kitchen. They don’t let their kids watch much TV, they come up with interesting crafts and play dates and activities. I bet their homes don’t look like mine…that is to say, like a war zone…and I bet their children eat their vegetables, because they’re probably creative enough to figure out how to sneak them into their foods. I’m not. It’s hard to not feel like a “bad” holistic Mom in comparison.
I know, I know. I have my talents too, and there are probably lots of things about me that make me a good Mom. They just don’t make me a HOLISTIC Mom, is what I’m saying. My daughter turns two next Thursday…and for her birthday, I’ll go and take her to Sears for a portrait, send her to day care with store-bought gluten-free cupcakes for all her little friends, and the next day, I’ll drive her to her pediatrician for her 2-year-old checkup…and let her get vaccinated. Oh, I’ll probably stretch out the schedule a bit and not let them mix vaccines, but that is about as brave as I can be.
So, I guess it’s time to think about a new name for my blog. Especially since the Holistic Moms Network has already reached out to me to let me know that I am infringing on their trademark, “Holistic Moms.” That’s why I’ve distinguished myself on this blog as a proud member of their group, so as to avoid any confusion. Therefore, if anyone has any ideas for a new name, I am all ears. Thank you so much!
Actually, the Holistic Moms Network was created EXACTLY for people like you. No one single member of the Holistic Moms Network is “perfectly” holistic. In fact, we are all on a journey of learning to make greener, healthier, and more sustainable choices for ourselves and our families. The group was founded of the principles of support, diversity, and tolerance and one thing we don’t advocate is judging – ourselves or each other. You seem to be just as much of a “Holistic Mama” as anyone else – within or outside of Holistic Moms.
As for the trademark issue, we do have a legal adviser who stays on top of these things to protect the trademark of our non-profit organization. We have had many cases of inappropriate use of our trademark, sadly, by companies and individuals trying to profit off of our name and am sorry if it creates any inconvenience to you.
I would be more than happy to talk to you directly about what the Holistic Moms Network is and why we are all welcome. – Nancy Massotto, Founder, Holistic Moms Network
Dear Dr. Massotto,
Thank you for commenting. I am guilty of judging myself, definitely. I am finding it incredibly difficult to stick to my holistic “guns,” as it were, given my busy schedule and the demands on my time. I need and want to make drastic changes to my lifestyle so that I can pursue those goals again.
I do value my membership in HMN and do learn a lot from the other mothers in the chapter. I am pretty sure I’ll be a member for life, and I am grateful to you for founding it. The work you’re doing is incredibly valuable. I was just having a moment where I was feeling particularly down on myself, and feeling one particular way about the wide gulf that seems to separate me from the kind of Mom I want to be.
I understand about the trademark issue, and do not have any bad feelings about it. I feel that it is better if I change the name of my site. If only I could figure out what name and also how to migrate all the other pages to the new site without any broken links, I would do it in a heartbeat. In the meantime, I’ll keep happily displaying my membership in HMN to the world.
Mare
As a working mom with 2 kids, I commiserate with your needs to maintain daily living while knowing what holistic desires you wish you could accomplish. Each of us has decisions to make and how we best fulfill the needs of our family. There is no right or wrong to any of them. Everyone is on their own life journey.
At HMN, it is reminded that no person will be on the same path and that everyone is welcomed. I have found the Holistic Moms Network to be invaluable in support, knowledge, and camaraderie. I have made invaluable friends and learned so much to the benefit of myself and my family. No mom is perfect and to meet others who are imperfect, but trying to do their best while still being true to their holistic beliefs has allowed me to pick and choose what I can and can’t do, while gaining the support needed to make these decisions.
I hope in the future, as an HMN member, you will seek the group for what it was intended for – to seek support, information, and even commiseration. While no group has all the answers, HMN is a great place to find many.
Hi Jen,
Thanks very much for commenting. HMN is definitely a fantastic resource, and I enjoy my membership very much. I only meant to convey and express in my post how much I admire the other members of the chapter, based on my observations of everyone’s parenting styles. They are my observations only, and may or may not reflect how others experience the group. I also was going through a “moment” of feeling particularly down on myself – and judging myself. The HMN women are the last ones who would judge me, and indeed, I have never felt judged by anyone at HMN. I hope people who read my blog and my post join HMN themselves – it is one of the most valuable investments I have ever made.