The name of this blog is “Holistic Mamas.” I belong to the Holistic Moms Network. I know a lot about Aromatherapy and herbs and natural remedies. But if I take a good look at myself in the mirror, I am not particularly holistic. At all. And I am not being hard on myself. No, in fact, I have always been particularly good at letting myself off the hook.
I look around at all the other Moms in the Holistic Moms chapter with me, and in comparison, I am decidedly UN-holistic. Why do I say this? Because many of the other Moms in the chapter do not vaccinate their kids. I do. Many prepare their kids’ meals from scratch on a daily basis. I heat my daughter’s meal…in a microwave. I tell myself that it’s healthy because it’s one of Amy’s Kids’ Meals and it’s gluten-free and made with organic ingredients, but…whom am I kidding? It’s not ideal. Many of the other Moms compost. I don’t. Many can their own peaches and make their own jams. I buy mine from Whole Foods. Many of them make their own kefir! I barely even know what kefir is. Many of them even use natural or herbal hair color. I go to Nikki at Outrage and pay to have my grays covered, with whatever brand she wants to use on my hair (I think it’s Framesi). Many use solely natural remedies for their children, and probably would not consider taking an aspirin for their own aches and pains. I just popped a Motrin for my headache because I don’t have the time to hurt.
And here’s another confession…the other day at work, I was so tired that I took a late afternoon shot of caffeine…in the form of a Diet Coke. A co-worker of mine caught me and said, “It’s strange to see a health nut drinking a Diet Coke.” Strange indeed. Especially because I usually go around preaching to other people about the hazards of drinking Diet Cokes.
Here’s another confession: I’m overweight. I’ve told you how much I weighed, and it hasn’t much changed since I wrote it, despite my best intentions. To look at me, you would never think I was a health nut at all. No more do I wake up and go to hot yoga. Nope, ever since I got this new job, I’ve just been way too stressed and way too tired. Bone-tired. Zombie-tired. Dead-tired.
To tell the complete truth, I’ve only ever physically been to two chapter meetings, because I don’t have the time to go. I don’t know how these other Moms do it. I work full-time in corporate America, which really means 50 to 60 hours a week are devoted to creating “shareholder value.” After I come home at night, and “cook” for my daughter, and bathe her, and dress her for bed, and do flash cards with her, and read to her, and nurse her to sleep, I blearily trudge out to the living room and get back on my email to see what I’ve missed. Sometimes I can’t help comparing myself to the other Moms in the chapter…how wonderful they are, how accomplished, how handy in the kitchen. They don’t let their kids watch much TV, they come up with interesting crafts and play dates and activities. I bet their homes don’t look like mine…that is to say, like a war zone…and I bet their children eat their vegetables, because they’re probably creative enough to figure out how to sneak them into their foods. I’m not. It’s hard to not feel like a “bad” holistic Mom in comparison.
I know, I know. I have my talents too, and there are probably lots of things about me that make me a good Mom. They just don’t make me a HOLISTIC Mom, is what I’m saying. My daughter turns two next Thursday…and for her birthday, I’ll go and take her to Sears for a portrait, send her to day care with store-bought gluten-free cupcakes for all her little friends, and the next day, I’ll drive her to her pediatrician for her 2-year-old checkup…and let her get vaccinated. Oh, I’ll probably stretch out the schedule a bit and not let them mix vaccines, but that is about as brave as I can be.
So, I guess it’s time to think about a new name for my blog. Especially since the Holistic Moms Network has already reached out to me to let me know that I am infringing on their trademark, “Holistic Moms.” That’s why I’ve distinguished myself on this blog as a proud member of their group, so as to avoid any confusion. Therefore, if anyone has any ideas for a new name, I am all ears. Thank you so much!